The New Communication and mutual relations

For Leaders, Managers, Employees and Others

At first I want to tell you that »The New Communication« is a master work of Richard Greene from LA who has been my teacher and business partner for many years. He also works as a corporate consultant and delivers lectures and workshops around the world.

A simple secret

What is the meaning of your Communication? It’s the Response you get from the other person. If you don’t get the response you want, then you have to change your style of communication.

We have to remember this simple secret, a response is the most important aspect of communication. It doesn’t matter what you thought or said but what kind of response you receive. Communication based upon the response of the other person will be more efficient, effective and enjoyable.

When we only rely on words, our understanding can be limited, so pay attention when someone talks to you, and notice whether the communication is fully effective. Please, no matter how simple the instructions are, read the response. We call this Full Body Listening. With it you will pick up those little non – verbal cues before you get a ‘funny feeling’ in your stomach.

The quickest way to improve your “people reading” and communication skills is to pay conscious attention to your Words, Voice Tone and Body language.

I will show you a direct comparison between the traditional and the new way of communicating as it is applied in relationship.

When I worked with leaders in seminars I found many relationships where the communication is far from effective.

In a straight comparison of both communications I want to help you to recognize the old ineffective communication and the new style one. There are some rules that we need to follow right now.

The old style: Argue for that what you said, because you know what you talked about. But in a new style it doesn’t matter what you have thought or said but what kind response have you received.

In the first case you may imagine that your words have the same meaning for everybody.

In the new communication you may be aware that your words elicit quite a different image, emotional connection and meaning in the brain of everybody.

Let me give a short explanation with an example. Have you ever experienced the situation similar to this game: “I told you that. No you didn’t. Of course, I did. You absolutely did not. I would have done it if you told me that. But anyway, I told you that. No you didn’t”.

Does it sound like a familiar story to you? Communication that is based upon words only has only been likely to fail.

The next old rules say: While the other person is talking pay attention to his every word and prepare yourself for an immediate response.

Most people strive to be a little bit »ahead« of the other person, business partners, and friends. We imagine the next step in our conversation, because we want to feel secure.

Don’t worry, the words will actually come easier. The ideas just flow when you tune in and watch, listen and feel the other 100%.

When we think in this way and the conversation develops in our head, then we lose our focus on what’s going on with another person.

The new rules say: While the other person is talking, stay with him 100%. Listen, watch, feel and don’t allow your thoughts to take your attention away.

The lovers in love, top »people«, super-salesperson, great leaders…have the ability to be »totally there« for the other.

The old communicator’s rule says: Give instructions and work assignments as clearly and concisely as possible. Be open to answer any questions from the employee.

The new communicator: While giving instructions and work assignments as clearly and concisely as possible, does not allow the employee to leave the communication until you see, hear and feel that his/her understanding and your understanding are precisely the same.

There are many ways of positively motivating. What do methods should you use? Teach your employee to fish rather than feed them.

The old communicator communicates in such a way as to »get the most out of« an employee. Talk to an employee to find out what s/he is good at and utilize those talents.

The new communicator says: Help the employees to get the most out of themselves through the style of your communication.

Talk to an employee to find out what he /she enjoys doing, to make them feel empowered so they look forward to coming to work to do as much as possible, so they feel passionate about their work because of the supportive culture of the place they work in.

A true story: A young lady was a personal assistant of her boss. She was an intelligent, energized, attractive person, and performed her work extremely effectively. Her boss was very satisfied with her and whenever possible he praised her work. Suddenly she gave in and gave her notice to her boss. And the boss was very surprised at this. Then she explained that the work didn’t satisfy her ambitions.

What we learn from the story is that she missed the personal interest from her boss and some questions sometimes “What do you like about your work? What do you see as your strengths?” The end of the story was: Her work was completely rearranged later upon her demands and request.

The emotional part in communication

»The old communicator« says :”Never share how you feel. Ignore, downplay, criticize, attempt to eliminate the expression of emotion during work and keep things under control. Pay careful attention to what you say which words you chose”.

“The new communicator” says: “Use your feelings to achieve greater connection with another and to grant or strengthen difficult communication. Acknowledge, respect and provide a safe environment for the expression of emotions whenever possible and when such deeper communication is not immediately practical arrange for a time later to discuss this. Pay careful attention to what you say and constantly read the non-verbal communication from the other”.

Watch free a recommended page of my friend Brian Tracy

To your success,

Marija Hafner, Ph.D.